Who She? Part II: I'm Finding Out
Who She? Well y'all, I think I'm finding out. Five months into the year and my life, at least the love and relationship aspect, has completely changed. I find myself here, like one of my all time favorite shows, living single.
She's handling this whole breakup thing pretty well despite the disappointment and frustration. I thought I would be completely heartbroken and defeated, but She's not. A surprise to everyone around me, including myself. For a long time I've only known and have been with one person, but that's no more. It's like on The Flash, where when you change the past the future starts to fade away dramatically... that's how it looks and feels in my head. Right now is my past and the life I was envisioning in the future: my home, my lifestyle, a marriage, is fading slowly. Snap back to the present and my future is a blank slate.
I've seemed to have had my life set in my mind for a while and the life I've know and created is... null and void and instead of being broken, confused, or discouraged, She is actually liberated. She is open minded about the "bright side" to anything ending: the new beginning. One thing we do definitely have in common is that we're always looking for the lesson, the reason for the things that happen in life and we are always trusting of the process.
Now I'm filled with all of these questions... What kind of woman is She? What kind of guys does She like? Is She a relationship person or will She enjoy living a single life? Lover or friend? Sexually... hmm... now that's a big question mark since I've only ever been with one guy.
The thing with having little experience with relationships is that you only have one perception of "love" and relationships and how to be in one. You only know how that person treats you, you tend to think it's the way and you may view it as less of a negative, or more of a positive than it may actually be. You think this is it or it's not that bad. Unaware that there is better. Well, She is open to discovering if there's a better and I have to stick to my gut and my intuition and allow Her to journey. In life you always have to keep moving forward.
How does She love now? Is it the same or is She different? A good different or bad? Oooouuu, is She a player? Haha, hell na. I know that much.
Who She?! Of all the things I have yet to discover about Her, I do know that She remains genuine. She remains strong mentally and emotionally. She gets a fist with it's middle finger soaring, on her thigh, because Her motto is still "fuck that shit". She is filled with love and sass. She's still her very independent self and She is still becoming.
