Advice Archive: His Instagram Likes Are Effecting My Self-Esteem

June 2019

Name: Makayla

Message: I’m seeking advice because I keep finding myself comparing myself to the girls my ex likes on Instagram. These girls are nothing like me. It’s even so bad that when I’m alone and I see a girl, I picture my ex and her together and get sick. I’m exhausted by living this way. I have talked to a girl about this and she says it’s I don’t value and love myself. Do you suggest I get therapy? How does someone start valuing and loving themselves?

Hey Makayla,

Valuing and loving yourself starts with acceptance. You can’t be anyone else but yourself and no one can be you. That is POWER. You are literally one of a kind; exclusive! You have things no one else possesses. Accept who you are because you can’t change that fact and embrace every aspect of yourself because it’s what makes you, you. You have to stop focusing on other people, other girls, because that’s not going to help you and other people don’t matter. Focus on the things you love about yourself, inside and out. Why are you desirable? Why are you amazing? You are amazing because of ___. Fill in the blank with a list of things you love about yourself and the positive attributes you have. Because YOU ARE. Ain’t nothing special about anyone else, over you, but the fact that they know these things already, they love themselves and as a result, they exude the confidence they have within. You just need to get there. You need to practice uplifting yourself and gassing yourself up! I wouldn’t say you need a therapist for these things because I feel like it’s normal and occurs at some point in everyone’s life where they are unaware of who they are and all that they have within. They learned, I have learned and you will learn. You just have to will yourself to do so. Every day there will be constant reminders, constant distractions of things that will challenge your self-esteem and your confidence, but you have to be able to reassure yourself in these moments, you are fucking bomb sis. Get cocky on ‘em! Do things that make you happy because it’s all connected! Happy people are beautiful. Acceptance of who you are and being confident makes you beautiful. Work on being your best self. You will fucking radiate!

Oh and block him, why are you seeing his likes? Fuck his likes.

I hope this advice helps you. -K