Advice Archive: I Want To Hold Off On Sex

January 3, 2020

Name: Cobby P

Message: When I first start talking to any dude I’m instantly ready to sleep with him. Most of the time I hold myself back but there were 2 occasions were I slept with the guy by the second date or even no date at all. That left me feeling anxious. I’m dating someone new now and I really want to sleep with him but I also want to get to know him more first. Any advice on this dilemma?

Hey Cobby P,

This one is rather simple: don’t sleep with him. If that’s something you want to hold off on, you have the control and the power to make that choice. Instead, when you’re planning to link, make it so that you’re going out in public doing something fun and engaging. Avoid drinking even, if alcohol is something that would shake your self-control. Avoid going to places with beds lol and keep those eyes on the road, if you catch my drift. Set yourself up to not have sex. I know how it is to feel temptation and I’ve had to do this as well. Giving myself one more date (or however many) until I was like “aite bet”. And even with my friends! We have full-blown strategy sessions on this. There are so many other ways to spend time if you want to keep yourself from giving in to your desires and impulses. Top golf, Sky zone, indoor go-carting, skating, dave and busters, etc. Of course, these places may or may not be available depending on where you live, but find all of the interactive activities where you are and take advantage! These are perfect places for casual candid interaction, bonding, and also gauging a person to see how compatible you are together. You have this power, if you don’t want to do something, exercise this ability.

I hope this advice helps you. -K