Advice Archive: Is This Friendship Worth Rekindling?

January 20, 2017

Name/Age: Seeking Friendship

Message: Hello my name is Necia, 
I have this friend we are on and off as friends and I just needed advice on what I should do. So I recently reached back out to her apologizing for the last encounter we had we made up that was it .but it seems like I'm the one who's always reaching out when something goes bad or wrong in the friendship I know every time you reconnect with someone nothing isn't going to be the exact same there's going to be a little change. I guess what I thought was going to happen is where we picked up where we left off on the good part. HOW do you go about needing a friend but not appearing desperate. I guess what I'm looking for in a friend is someone I can travel with hang with go through things with explore life together but Idk if it just starts with me not having that PERSON everyone seems to need.

Hey Necia,

I feel as though if the friendship with this person isn't the ideal one you want, refrain from trying to have it with her. Not that you shouldn't be friends with her, but if it's not seeming as if you too are going to be as close as you want, let it be the kind of friendship that it is. I went through the same type of thing where I lost a "best friend" and my attempt to repair the relationship (I was the bigger person as well) failed, I just had to accept it for what it was, nothing anymore apparently and now I met another girl who's literally like my other half lol. It was serendipitous really. Just let that friendship be whatever it is, whether nothing at all or just a good girlfriend and one day you'll meet a friend that truly and genuinely becomes your "best" friend. One that you will have more in common with, share the same type of wants in the world and have a genuine loving connection with- you're ideal best friend. Don't force a situation that just may not be meant to work. Accept it for what it is and stay true to your wants and who you are and you'll meet someone else- someone better for you. There are billions of people out there, just be patient.

I hope this advice helps you. -K