Advice Archive: I Can't Seem To Figure Her Out

January 11, 2019

Name/Age: Joe Joe

Message: I’ve tried everything. I gave her the American dream and in return I get nothing but heartache. Yet, I keep trying, I say maybe she wants something different? She says no I love what you are doing and I love what we have. So then why deny me love, affection, intimacy, only to give it away to guys you barely know and whom have brought nothing positive to your life? Why sell yourself for mediocrity? If I have given you everything you have never had, shown you things you never seen, taught you things you never new, why trade me in for someone who hasn’t? Why take love from the person that worked overtime for it and give it to the person who once threw it away but now changed his mind? What to do when you can’t get answers?

Hey Joe Joe, Relationships

There’s no telling why people do the things that they do. All we can do is what’s best for us and our sanity. To linger on those thoughts trying to figure out why is constant torture and unless you can get straight answers from your lady, I would advise you to just let it go and accept what has happened. Rather than decipher her actions and “why” she has made certain moves, focus solely on how you are going to act as a result of those actions. If you feel unappreciated, under-loved, overworked etc. you need to separate yourself from the relationship. Period. Even if you are able to get answers to your questions from her, what if you don’t like the answers? What if you can’t get “closure” or understanding from the person? Regardless, you’d still have to receive your own form of closure which is acceptance and progression. Never dwell.

I hope this advice helps you -K