Is Mama Raising A Fool Afterall?
Mothers and other adults in our parent's generation and before them, are used to and are fine with having gender roles and in some households children are raised thinking that men and women have certain parts to play and duties based on their gender.
In my household specifically, there are gender roles. There are certain chores I have to do 'because I'm the girl' and those same chores, my brothers are excused from doing and actually don't know how to do.
My brothers still laugh and joan on me saying "Iiii, do them dishes, girl" and when my mom jokingy tells them to wash dishes (because even she found humor in it) they would still laugh and say "that's women's work" or "why? I ain't no girl".
At first it use to piss me off because i didn't want to wash dishes and i found it hella unfair that out of 3 kids, I was the only person responsible for this chore. But now, as a young adult, I recognize that this thinking is one that supports and is implanting gender roles in them and will possibly cripple them in their adult life.
Earlier this week, I saw a tweet that said ladies have to accept the fact that we're probably going to have to teach our husbands how to wash dishes, clothes, and cook. Retweeted with this tweet was a comment that said "that's a child, not a man."
Having domestic skills are important to live an independent life, but does not having these skills make a guy less than a man and is it the fault of the parents, who maybe didn't teach their sons?
I asked a couple of my friends and this is what they had to say:
"I think everyone should have the ability to be able to take care of their home. Do I think if makes you less of a man, no. I mean, there's always somebody you can pay to do it, lol. I think if you're a single man who doesn't know how to wash dishes or clothes, you're lazy", says my friend Anthony. When i asked if he believes it has anything to do with how a man was raised and should a portion of the fault be of the parents, he he believes it plays a big part and states that there are things he was never made to do around the house that he now has a hard time doing.
"Not at all does it make a guy less of a man", says my bae Armani. "I believe that it's extremely important that guys can properly execute household chores because it's not completely up to the female to complete it." She also acknowledges gender roles being reversed. "It's not the woman who is only domesticated, but the man as well. It's not only men that are successful in terms of career, it's women too." It's not the duties of a woman anymore men, you have to carry your own, as we. Armani continued to express that she actually knows of little boys under the age of 7 who're being raised with ancient slave-like values. These little guys are actually being raised to expect women to serve them and clean up after them. "It makes them ignorant", concludes Armani-- Ignorant meaning the dictionary definition: lacking knowledge and sophistication.
"it's still a skill", my boyfriend Marquette, says. "You’re learning something, you're improving yourself. Regardless of it is a chore, it's still another way of learning how to take care of you and that's exactly what a man does: he takes care of him and all. Of course he should learn how to do chores." (insert an obnoxious amount of hallelujah emojis here) "Hey babe, 'member when you had said.." will definitely be me quoting him on that when he tries to make me do all of the housework in our future home. Does it make a guy less of a man if he doesn't know how to do these chores? "Not less of a man. I'll say limited-- It makes a him limited", he says.
In my opinion, I don't think feel it makes a guy less of a man if he doesn't know how to do housework nor do I feel anyone should be penalized for the way they were raised. There are many guys out there, who have mothers who've been raised to take care of the men in their families because back in the day, caretaker/homemaker is the role of the woman and they've grown accustom. "Boys are lazy and "dumb as hell", as my Ma says. Just like my brothers, dudes rarely ever like cleaning and they can be a mess so if there's someone willing, (man or woman) they have no problem letting them pick up the slack.
With that being said, I think we all can agree that, no matter how a person is raised, at a certain age and time in our lives, we all have the ability to take our lives and the welfare our our beings into our own hands. Being lazy is a pitiful and no excuse to be a dirtball. As adults, if we have our own place it's our responsibility to clean it, just as if we are hungry we have to feed ourselves and if our clothes are dirty it's our responsiblity to maintain good hygiene. It's ultimately up to us to further sculpt our lives. We are responsible for ourselves and we control the knowledge with we choose to fill our minds.
Feel free to join the discussion. Leave a comment stating your feelings on this tea