Advice Archive: Dealing With The Distance

Oct. 29, 2018

Name/Age: Ash kimoria

Message: Hi! My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 years. Here’s my situation. We’re super close, always sleeping over with each other or on the phone. Just recently, he left out of town to stay with his uncle for little over a week or two. Since he’s been there I haven’t heard much from him. When I call I don’t get an answer as often or it takes him hours to text me back. He’s purpose of going out of town was to work. His uncle owns a car shop and he’s helping out. I’m trying to be considered that he’s spending time with his family that hasn’t seen in a while. He’s been there for almost a week and he hasn’t found the balance yet. When I communicated how I felt, he quickly told me that I shouldn’t feel that way. I just miss him honestly. I don’t wanna think the worst about cheating but you never know. He’s even said that our relationship can’t be his top priority... not saying that, that’s what I want but he wasn’t talking to me like this before he left.

Hey Ash, Distance

I totally understand your worry but it’s just because you aren’t use to not having him close and are missing him. If there’s no real receipts to lead you to believe he’s cheating then push that thought far from your mind because you’ll end up driving you both insane with the accusations and imaginary issues. He says he’s away to help his uncle with work and he’s also reconnecting and visiting with his family, knowing that, it’s totally normal to not be communicating as much as when he’s home with little to do. Allow him a peaceful trip by playing the background a bit. Make a point to talk to him at least every night when he’s whined down about to head to bed or the evening when he’s done with work. It’s better than texting and calling all day, in my opinion, because you can have more to catch each other up about from the day’s events. Like I said previously, don’t worry yourself about nothing. If he’s doing any dirt, you’ll find out when you’re suppose to find out, however way. Don’t bring or create problems in your relationship. Also, it’s always better for your case, if he’s doing dirt, to have physical receipts, not speculations or accusations. Wait until you have a legitimate right and reason, with proof, before any conversation about cheating.

Also, your relationship can’t and shouldn’t be your number one priorities so he’s not wrong in saying that. I say this because your number one priority should be yourselves and doing what’s better for you two separately, then coming together secondly. You are individuals before you’re a couple, remember that. You should always be looking out for what’s in your best interest financially, academically, mentally and emotionally, and the future lives for which you are laying your foundation.

I hope this advice helps you. -K