No Trophies- Crediting Men For The Bare Minimum

    A little random fact about me: I sleep with my radio/music on at night. Reason being, I hate the creepy quiet of the night. It terrifies me and will have me up listening for something all night -- so i have to have background noise.

    I woke up this morning with Chris Brown singing in the background on Jamie Foxx's "You Changed Me".

   One part that I, and I'm sure a lot of you've heard before, stuck in my head early this morning. The part where he says, "girl you don't even know, all the hoes I let go, for you..." Got me thinking..

   He actually thinks he's done a grand gesture. LMAO. The nerve of guys with this mentality. Fellas out there actually believe letting go of the other girls they're messing around with other than you, serious or not, is a favor to us! But oh boy, are they sadly mistaken. On the contrary to what they think, it's themselves who they are performing the favor for.

   Attention ladies and "gentlemen" out there, we are the catch! You aren't doing an act of kindness or favor to us by letting go of these other girls, you're doing yourself a favor. Guys have to understand, but more importantly, we have to make them understand and realize that there is no "us" nor "we" while you're continuing these "side interactions". 

   You can't have me, when there's a them. If you want me, there wouldn't be a they.

    My boyfriend actually tried to pull that bull with me when we first began dating the first time around a couple of years ago. He really thought it was sweet too, lol.  We were really on and off --- normal for kiddies, which we were back then. I didn't know he had two other girls he was playing the field with, but after a little twatching session on twitter one day, I became quickly abreast of the situation he had me in. So, of course I brought it to him (we never had no issue when it came to openness). He basically told me that he was "talking"  (kiddie term for dating) to all of us to later decide who he wanted. Okay, I thought. Can't fault him because that's normal so I was cool with it. But, a couple days later I thought to myself..

   This is basically how the conversation with myself went: Boooooooooy, What? That's so dead. Who are you?! Oh naa. He got me ****** up. LOL. So I never hit him up after that. As I also expressed to him before we ended that phone conversation days before, although I was going to try to deal with it, I didn't understand why he needed to date other girls. We were "on" many times before that so he knew exactly who I was and if he doesn't know by now that he wanted me and only me, there's no reason for me to be here. I left. He eventually came back without them. He now knew better.

   When it comes to building a relationship with someone, know your worth. We should never allow the guys in our life slide with doing the bare minimum or treating us any less than what we're worth. Have one of those same conversations with yourself like I did if you need to, lol.

   Cleaning their lives of all the the women they dating (and/or doing) when pursuing a serious union with you is not an unnatural occurrence. That is normal. This is what you do when you want to enter a monogamous relationship. It's not a prize and we should not accept nor reward these dudes for anything they are suppose to do.  As a matter of fact, there doesn't even need to be any acknowledgement either. What do they think will happen otherwise? We all become sisterwives or besties. That's so dead my friend.