Advice Archive: I Need To Make New Friends ASAP
March 13, 2019
Name/Age: BIG BUNz/ 18
Message: Girl how do I make new friends? I need a new life like I’m fresh outta high school and I don’t fuck with nobody from high school fr. I’m just looking for excitement and adventure with new people. I started going out cause ain’t nobody gon come knock on my door & shit sometimes it’s just a lil walk cause I really ain’t got nowhere to go lol I rl just wanna be seen you know like I’m tired of being in the house watching YouTube. I wanna fuck shit up. I think I’m on the right path I’m gloing up, looking cuter & shit and I want some mfs to fuck with you know? Like I be going out and my family be like why you always going out, what are you doing, blah blah blah & I want some bitches to be on moves with cause the fools in my current residence(my mother house) are boring af. My problem is I don’t like approaching people cause I’ve always been approached but then I end up with bitches I don’t even fw. I needa approach some bitches but how do you even approach moe? I feel like it’s gay that’s why I ain’t do it. Like I’m subconsciously afraid of rejection or looking like I need the person you know what I mean? Damn I just read tf outta myself what you think?
Hey BIG BUNz,
After high school is really when you start to meet many different people and form new relationships. Relationships that don’t only exist because you see each other everyday, or have been going to the same school or living in the same area growing up. You’re maturing and changing and will now be exposed to people like yourself and from different backgrounds. You’re braver than I am going out by yourself, opening yourself up to meet new people because girl, I’m 24 and sometimes struggle alone socially (unless there are drinks involved of course). In addition to than going out alone, I’d say try to scope the scene at your job or at school to see if there’s someone there you sense a chemistry with that you’d like to befriend. Those are common places where you’d see the same people and also you’d already share a lot. Being “gay” is a bit of an immature way to look at it, but you’ll see when you really start to meet girls that you fuck with that it takes a level of vulnerability to really bond in a real deep and genuine way with your female friends. If you’re not trying to bone then it’s not gay lol. Girls love each other! And it’s more prevalent now than ever that more women have been showing love and support for each other! Especially on social media too! If you have Instagram or Twitter, show love to other women and they’ll show love back. That’s a small and easy way to kind of shoot your girlfriend shot. It’s innocent and disarming; a nice little ice breaker. You can for sure meet and make friends from social media so if you’ve heard otherwise, dead that thinking. Once you break that ice and build a slight rapport with some girls, you never know who lives near you or close enough that you two can link and hang out. That’s what it is for after all, not all of the shit talking, bashing and unnecessary stunting of material things, a lot of people use it for. Heart eye emojis and compliments work, reply to some stories- engage! Even if you don’t meet those people, I feel like once you get comfortable engaging in general, you’ll be able to transfer that comfort in person when you’re out on the town. You know how many “Yaaaassss outfit!” have broken the ice for me to make friends? Plenty lol. Don’t be scurred. You have to put yourself out there to achieve so many things in life, so this is a good start to begin getting over that fear of rejection and those communication limitations. It is a very normal thing so don’t beat yourself up too much about it. You’re are laying the foundation for that new life you want!
Also, be mindful of the places you go to potentially connect with people. Going anywhere you might been anything. Perhaps go to places where you will meet the kind of people that’ll mesh well with your personality. A concert, a pop-up shop, sports bar, even a nail salon- I’ve seen tons of women connect while getting pedicures.
I hope this advice helps you. -K
